Going Public

As I was washing dishes, I was thinking about how well this week of flying solo has gone. So many blessings have come. I mentioned in a previous post that I've learned the importance of getting out with the kids, but there's another thing I've learned to do: let people in.

Tuesday, Cami had a friend come play after school. Wednesday, another school friend of Cami's & her mom came over & had supper with us. That same afternoon, a friend volunteered to take Graham home with her, so each of the big kids got to do something special. And yesterday, a pair of friends spontaneous came & spent the afternoon/evening with our crew. (We grown ups splurged & had yummy fondue -- perfect for a rainy & cool Thursday night -- while the kids got a treat of fish'n'chips.)

But even without the emotional strength I find in having friends over, I think I would have survived pretty well. For one significant reason: I'm back on meds.

Growing up, I saw the effect that misapplied mood-altering drugs can have. So I resolved that that would never be a part of my life. But as a missionary, depression hit hard. I was angry with God that I could feel so awful when I was "doing the right thing." And when medication was prescribed, I didn't want to take it.

But one afternoon, I went to a private place to pray. A very simple, "Am I supposed to take medication?" with a very simple reply in the affirmative. I walked out of that room & down a stair case. Another missionary, someone I respect a lot, came up to me & asked how I was. I gave some generally positive answer, & she said, "You look happy. I haven't seen you look that way in a long time."

A few years later I learned that Cami was going to be joining our family and I went off the meds. That was almost eight years ago. I've either been growing or feeding a baby ever since. But Rose weaned recently & I'm back on the meds. And parenting doesn't seem so impossible anymore.