Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Blessings I Don't Need

Warning: This post sounds entirely self-centered and occasionally petty, but it isn't meant that way.

I posted a couple days ago about Balloons of Hope, a balloon launch organized to support Christian and Stephanie Nielsen. Jason commented that if we were in an accident like this, he doubted that we'd receive this level of support. We just aren't that popular.

Jason and I have often felt very lonely. And I, at least, often watched Stephanie both in person and via her blog ( with the same irrational dissatisfaction with my life that the geeky seventh grader watches the popular cheerleader. Jason would sometimes come home from teaching a late-night class & ask how the night had been. I'd respond by telling him that the kids had been difficult & so I'd decided to make myself feel worse by looking at Stephanie's blog.

I've spent the past nine days thinking about things from the standpoint of the things I can do right now that Stephanie can't. I can get up in the morning & hugs my kids. I can walk through the park & smile at the sunshine & enjoy the gentle English rain. I get to kiss Jason and tell him I love him. And I get to launch balloons to honor an amazingly vibrant woman who doesn't get to do those things right now.

It took me a couple of days to find the silver lining in not being popular. And it's this: I haven't had a tragedy of this magnitude. Something so utterly life altering that it requires the love and support of hundreds, if not thousands, of people. My needs are met by a relatively small group of true & close friends that love me & support me when I battle my challenges of insecurity and depression. I'm not popular, but I don't need to be. Stephanie & Christian are because the Lord is meeting their needs.

And we get to help. Design Mom has declared tomorrow, Thursday, August 28th, NieNie Day. Lots of bloggers are hosting silent auctions with the proceeds going to the Stephanie & Christian Nielsen Relief Fund. So, if you feel inclined, surf over to Design Mom & get the list. You may find something you love and join the pool of people the Nielsens need.


Mandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mandy said...

I kind of know what you mean about Stephanie. I'm amazed at how many people have stepped up to help and how many people seem to know her!

I'm glad I found your blog! I miss seeing you in the mother's lounge. Your home looks beautiful, as does all the greenery. I hope all is well with you and your family...

Marie said...

Great post Starr. It never hurts to focus on the blessings we already have and had never realized before. My heart really goes out to Stephanie and her family.

Patricia said...

Hey there Starr,

I was thinking of you and Jason all week, especially when we drive by the Glatt Kosher deli where we would turn into your house.

I thought of Jason today as Dakota was on campus for first day of is he doing> how are you? School starts for Cami soon doesn't it??

Anyway, I loved your thoughts on this post and am always in awe of your wisdom.


Patricia said...

I LOVE the kids comments...keep them coming. It makes me feel like they are still here just a few blocks from us.

Please tell little Graham that Sis. Killpack still thinks the world is a confusing place and she is even older than his mommy and daddy!!!